Mesothelioma is a rare and aggressive cancer that affects the lining of the lungs, abdomen, heart or testicles. It is caused by exposure to asbestos, a mineral that was widely used in various industries and products until the late 20th century. Mesothelioma has a long latency period, meaning that it can take decades for symptoms to appear after exposure. Unfortunately, there is no cure for mesothelioma, and the prognosis is often poor, with a median survival of about one year.
Losing a loved one to mesothelioma can be devastating and overwhelming. You may experience a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, shock, denial, depression and anxiety. You may also face practical challenges, such as arranging the funeral, settling the estate, dealing with legal issues and adjusting to life without your loved one. Grieving is a natural and normal process that helps you heal and cope with your loss. However, it is not easy, and it may take a long time for you to feel better.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone grieves differently, depending on their personality, culture, beliefs, relationship with the deceased and circumstances of the death. Some people may cry a lot, while others may not. Some people may want to talk about their feelings, while others may prefer to keep them to themselves. Some people may find comfort in their faith, while others may question it. The important thing is to respect your own way of grieving and not to judge yourself or others.
Some common stages of grief that most people go through, although not necessarily in the same order or at the same pace. These stages are:
• Denial:
This is when you refuse to accept the reality of your loss. You may feel numb, shocked or disbelief. You may hope that it is a mistake or a bad dream. Denial helps you cope with the initial impact of your loss and protect yourself from being overwhelmed by your emotions.
• Anger:
This is when you feel angry at the person who died, at yourself, at others, at God or at the world. You may wonder why this happened to you and your loved one. You may blame someone or something for causing or not preventing the death. Anger helps you express your pain and frustration and release your bottled-up emotions.
• Bargaining:
This is when you try to make a deal with God or a higher power to reverse or postpone the death. You may think of what you could have done differently or better to save your loved one. You may feel guilty or regretful for things you said or did not say, or things you did or did not do. Bargaining helps you cope with your sense of helplessness and hopelessness and find some meaning in your loss.
• Depression:
This is when you feel sad, lonely, empty, hopeless and worthless. You may lose interest in activities you used to enjoy. You may have trouble sleeping, eating, concentrating or functioning. You may isolate yourself from others or feel that no one understands you. You may think of harming yourself or ending your life. Depression helps you acknowledge the reality and magnitude of your loss and prepare for the final stage of grief.
• Acceptance:
This is when you accept the fact that your loved one is gone and that you cannot change it. You may still feel sad, but you may also feel calm, peaceful and hopeful. You may start to adjust to life without your loved one and plan for the future. You may reconnect with others and find new sources of support and meaning. Acceptance helps you move on with your life and honor your loved one's memory.
These stages are not linear or fixed. You may go back and forth between them, or you may skip some of them altogether. You may also experience other emotions, such as relief, gratitude, joy or love. Grief is not a problem to be solved, but a journey to be taken. It may take months or years for you to reach a state of acceptance and healing. There is no set timeline or deadline for grief. You should allow yourself to grieve at your own pace and in your own way.
Seek professional help, if you feel that your grief is too intense, prolonged or complicated, and that it interferes with your daily functioning and well-being.
Some signs of complicated grief include:
• An inability to accept the death or a continued disbelief in the death of your loved one
• Feelings of intense sorrow, emotional pain and anger
• Avoiding reminders of your loss
• Blaming others or yourself for the death
• An intense loss of desire to pursue interests or plan for the future
• Feeling that life is meaningless
• A continuous longing for the deceased
• An inability to enjoy positive memories about your loved one
Complicated grief can be treated with psychotherapy, medication or a combination of both.
Psychotherapy can help you process your emotions, cope with your loss, find support and meaning, and move forward with your life.
Medication can help you manage symptoms of depression, anxiety or insomnia that may accompany your grief.
You should consult with your doctor or a mental health professional to find the best treatment option for you.
Some things you can do to cope with your loss and support your healing process, in addition to seeking professional help. These include:
• Talking to someone you trust, such as a family member, a friend, a counselor or a clergy member. Sharing your feelings and memories can help you express your grief and feel less alone.
• Joining a grief support group, either in person or online. Meeting others who have experienced a similar loss can help you find comfort, understanding and hope. You can also learn from their coping strategies and experiences.
• Taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally. Eating well, sleeping enough, exercising regularly and avoiding alcohol and drugs can help you maintain your health and energy. Doing things that make you happy, such as reading, listening to music, gardening or volunteering, can help you cope with stress and lift your mood.
• Seeking legal assistance, if you suspect that your loved one's mesothelioma was caused by asbestos exposure. You may be eligible for compensation from the companies that exposed your loved one to asbestos, which can help you cover medical bills, funeral costs and other expenses. You can contact a mesothelioma lawyer or a mesothelioma trust fund to learn more about your legal options and rights.
• Honoring your loved one's memory, in a way that feels meaningful to you. You can do this by creating a memorial, such as a photo album, a scrapbook, a video or a website. You can also do this by donating to a charity, planting a tree, writing a letter or a poem, or celebrating their birthday or anniversary. Honoring your loved one's memory can help you keep them alive in your heart and mind.
Losing a loved one to mesothelioma is one of the most difficult experiences you may ever face. However, you are not alone, and you can find help and support.
Grieving is a natural and normal process that helps you heal and cope with your loss.
While life won't be the same after the loss of someone important to you, moving through the grieving process will help you adjust.
You can honor your loved one's memory and live a fulfilling and meaningful life.
REFERENCES:
This article is based on: Mesothelioma Grief Guide: Coping with the Loss of a Loved One https://www.asbestos.com/support/mesothelioma-grief-guide/ Thanks Elvira Jimenez and Asbestos.com for sharing.
For more information and resources on mesothelioma and grief, you can check out some of the other links from my search results, such as:
The Mesothelioma Center: Support for Cancer Patients & Families https://www.asbestos.com/
End-of-Life Decisions I Mesothelioma Patient Guide https://www.asbestos.com/support/end-of-life-decisions/
Asbestos Exposure Sites | Mesothelioma Guide https://www.mesotheliomaguide.com/asbestos-exposure-sites/ ,
and Mesothelioma Caregivers: Guide to Caring for a Loved One https://www.asbestos.com/support/caregivers/
Comments